Within my three interviews, I focused most of my objectives towards understanding my favorite subject of this class: Relationships. I interviewed people with the initials LD, BJ, and PO. So I could spread out the IPC concepts, I asked LD about her interpersonal needs, which is a persons specific feelings and reactions to situations. PO and I discussed his strengths in interpersonal communication, which is the ability to communicate with your peers. Finally I asked BJ about her self-concept, which is her view of herself.
After all my information was gathered, I found that personality traits according to relationships cannot always match your first impressions of my classmates. My first interview, LD, I met through a friend earlier in the year. She is a very fun person to go out with and is always the life of the party. When I sat down to interview her, I discussed the symmetrical and complimentary needs, which are the needs two different needs you have in a relationship, as well as the significant amount of trust that came with the relationship between her and her ex boyfriend of a few months.
Complementary vs Symmetrical needs can be problematic in IP relationships. I believe LD’s main attraction to her boyfriend was based on trust and possibly some physical. Her boyfriend, Eric applied to three of the four concepts of trust. The couple became dependent upon each other years before they started dating by relying on each other to hang out until the late hours of the night, even during school nights. Minor trust became a factor once LD left for college here at WVU. Eventually the two developed their trust enough to share major secrets and other details on life.
The only aspect that did agree was their proportionality of loss to gains: LD had caught her boyfriend cheating on her once before while at a party. This caused her to question his every move and caused new tension in their relationship. This distrust in each other was the eventual cancer to their love and caused their break. The reasoning for why LD’s boyfriend cheating could be insecurity but she said he felt as if the relationship was moving fast. He wanted to slow things down but instead of talking out there interpersonal needs, he made a major mistake.
LD says she learned a lot from this relationship and now knows the importance of seeking others help and to communicate with your partner. According to Melanie Booth-Butterfield’s book, Interpersonal Essentials, daters should meet their needs by achieving it from an outside source. It was shown in LD’s relationship that the overwhelming trust lead to the downfall. BJ, my second interview, was less open with her answers than LD. I first met in her in this class through my first interview, LD. She seemed to be very quite and reserved, and I knew that she would be a hard person to crack.
In this interview I was questioning BJ’s interpersonal communication and to see how well she would be able to communicate with me. When interviewing BJ, most of her answers were short and she did not seem to put too much thought in her answers. She seemed very shy, because she would not look me in the eyes and talk in a very low tone. She also seemed a little nervous, I caught her a few times playing with her hair and tapping her feet. But as I got a few questions down, she seemed to warm up to me. She was telling me about her family and how she often misses them while at school.
She even talked about how she wished she could be talkative because she knew it would help her communication skills. She knew that sometime people will get a false first impression of her because it takes her a little while to warm up to people. She said this lack of communication hurt her early in college but has now found her own her. We talked about what we like to do on the weekends and what we do in our free time down here at WVU. After every portion of personality we went over, I asked her, “Do you feel this is a strength or a weakness in your attraction? Every time BJ responded with a hesitant form of strength but she proclaimed domination of the three C’s, which are character, competence, and composure. After the interview was over with I saw she lacked composure because of her little emotional control. Despite her missing this trait she had a very good character and showed much competence. I tried to base all three of my interviews upon interpersonal and close knit relationships, but this one drifted into accuracy because of BJ’s communication skills.
I attempted to base all three of my interviews upon interpersonal and boyfriend-girlfriend type relationships, but this one drifted into accuracy of BJ’s self-concept. My first impression and her self-concept explanation matched up very wrong. Not that she only possesses negative traits, but in the few days that I’ve barely knew her, she didn’t come across as the independent, communicative woman I thought she was. Then again, this interview was my first actual conversation with her, so it may not be as accurate as my first impression.
Lastly, I interviewed another fellow classmate, PO. Our exchange seemed to be more open because of my first impression of his confidence. When talking to him he flooded you with character and confidence, making this interview very easy for the two of us. With PO, we talked about his self-concept and the overall view he has of himself at this point in his life. Like most college freshmen, he said he felt very reserved when she got to school not knowing anyone and starting a new in a different town.
He thought before he came here that he would not make that many friends and no one from around here could replace his “boys” or friends he had back home. At some point in the year he planned on transferring back home and notice that he had a sudden change of her self-concept. Going into winter break he was so happy to return home and see his friends he had missed so much to revive his self-confidence but when he returned, she noticed that things all changed. PO told me he started missing school and could not wait to return.
He then at that point realized he came in to close minded and actually had a lot of great friends here at WVU. And as the months past, he saw himself become the person he was at home, and became very comfortable with this new point in his life. He now says his self-concept is back to the way he was when he left and is now having a great time out here. After this interview was done it was obvious his self-concept was very high and that he was a good person. I really loved talking to PO because of the multiple types of attractiveness he displayed. He was very socially ttractive because he seemed to be a fun person. He made all of his answers full and told stories that sounded like he knew how to have a good time. He was also task attractive because he seemed to be a hard worker in class and got good grades. Someone like that would definitely be a good person to have in a group project. Finally he was physically attractive. He beamed and this physical attractiveness is the most important in the beginning of relationships. After all these interviews were finished I knew I learned a lot about my peers, but just as much about myself.
I was able to go up to 2 strangers and talk to them, something I was never to do in high school. College has helped my communication skills tremendously because you are thrown in a lifestyle with no parents, and your all on your own with new people. As a student I believe you have to adapt your communication skills or else you’ll never be able to get a full college experience. I also learned how to decipher different personalities in people and how that effects their communication. My first interview, LD, was outgoing and made the interview very