It’s been so
long! How have you been? I’ve been thinking a lot about you. Sorry I haven’t
written to you earlier, but Stanley wouldn’t let me. Things haven’t been so
good for the past couple of months. The baby has been more work than I thought
it would be and it requires more energy than that I can afford, and Stanley has
been no help. But James is what I live
for. All my dreams are bad dreams except for the dreams I have about my baby. I
dream about him becoming a handsome young man, very handsome to be human, and
finding a beautiful wife. Wouldn’t that be so lovely, to have a daughter in
law! But I’m terrified my dreams won’t turn into reality. What if my boy turns
into a monster like his father? I don’t want my son to treat me like Stanley
treats me. At least Stanley agrees with me that our son should go to school.
Stanley says math is the most important subject. I had to agree to avoid
another fight with him, but you and I both know English is just as important.
But what definitely made happy and gave me hope is that James’ first word was
ma! When I told Stanley, he was very jealous.
I just wanted to
tell you that during your stay I realized that Stanley and I are completely opposite
to each other. How innocent was I to think that our relationship would go back to
normal after you leave. How did I think that this was a relationship I would be
able to maintain for the rest of my life! I used to feel loved, now I just feel
as if I was sold for Stanley. I realized that Stanley only pays attention to me
when he needs me to fulfill his needs. But I’m not pleased by any of his
manliness anymore. Maybe life was better when I lived in an illusion where
Stanley was the center of my world. Why do we, DuBois, certainly have a problem
with marrying the wrong people! But Stanley has been gone a lot lately, says
he’s traveling for work. I don’t mind, it gives me extra alone time with James
and to watch the movies I like.
when he comes back he’s more happier and less demanding.
has been asking about you a lot lately. I was never able to answer that question,
but hopefully I will answer it when soon! Stanley and Mitch haven’t been too
close as before since you left. But still he comes occasionally over for the
poker nights. I feel bad for him, he is very kind, yet he seems so lonely. I
sometimes send him some a pie or custard, to make sure that he gets to enjoy
some good cooking every once in a while.
I hope you like the pink dress I got you! It’s to make up for that
terrible present that Stanley gave you. I saved up for it all by myself.