In the given quote from The Waiting Years by Fumiko Enchi, there is a hint towards the perturbed state of mind of a maid-servant , Suga, who is in dithers regarding the decision she had had to take at the face of a tricky situation. Socially she stood on a far lower rung than the wife of Shirakawa, the master, she was supposed to lie down with ,to give birth to a child. Double-pronged advantages propped up before her eyes instead. She could feel shelter-less, being fatigued at the end of the road, without a child to rear up and stay with. Again, this step in life could make both her mother’s and brother’s life more comfortable. Candidly speaking, she had no way to get back to her innocent and pure virginity even if she escaped from here. She was a handmaid, after all. On the contrary she was feeling like an exact photocopy of the mistress of the family with the same hair, same boyish face, the same demeanors. She felt as if she was making herself ready for the decision.
Literally speaking, the tug of war in the mind of the handmaid certifies the helplessness of the serving community. They have to sacrifice their virginity because of a dream on the one hand and the need of money and creature comfort on the other. Bernard Shaw in his Arms and the Man has brilliantly raised a voice of protest against such humiliation of the servant-community. Louka, the maidservant does not hesitate to snatch the social position she dreams of. Shaw makes her witty and fearless. She is unlike Suga. Suga , of course, is crippled by the demands of her family and circumstances. Again, she is a plaything in the hands of the people of higher rank in society. However, she momentarily exchanges her position with Yumi,the wife of Shirakawa, in her imagination. Frankly speaking, even a servant-maid dreams of a healthy husband-wife relationship, a proper household, the natural fulfillment of basic needs. Through easy candid diction Fumiko Enchi Successfully creates the desired ambience.