Some People Never Learn
How many times have you heard the phrase “some people never learn”? You have probably heard it numerous times in your life; maybe someone has even directed this disappointing comment toward you. Taken literally, this phrase means that some people do not comprehend; however, I know some people who absolutely comprehend their situations, the possible effects of their choices, and the ways to avoid being stuck in the ruts that they get themselves into. My one friend Angela is a shining example of an intelligent person who will just “never learn”. Angela has repeatedly made bad choices in her life, she lives in a pattern of self destruction, and she doesn’t seem to be able to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Angela has never learned that making bad choices will have bad results, most often, long term bad effects. Although Angela knows that having unprotected sex increases her chance of getting pregnant, she continues to do so. She is now 28 years old and has five children by four different men. She still is not on birth control and is not with any of the children’s fathers. She has numerous boyfriends at a time, and I often worry that she may end up with something a little worse than a child the next time! Her children do not know a real father and have men in and out of their lives constantly as a result of her promiscuity and inability to settle down. Although she talks about wanting stability in their lives, she repeatedly denies them this by jumping from man to man.
In addition to making bad choices, Angela lives a life full of destructive patterns. Not only does she jump from man to man, she goes clubbing on a regular basis. This activity keeps her out four or five nights a week, leaving the children at home unattended. She is so drunk when she gets home that she often sleeps in or is unable to respond if one of her children needs her. Child protective services have been called on her numerous times and she has lost her children on more than one occasion. In addition to clubbing, Angela likes to gamble. She attends bingo three nights a week as well, and doesn’t win all that often. Her gambling addiction often leaves her with no money to buy the necessities. She is often seen at the community welfare offices begging for extras during the month.
Even though Angela has been living this lifestyle for the last ten years, she has had many opportunities to better herself. She has been given a full scholarship to college, but dropped out. Her heavy partying and responsibilities to her children made it impossible for her to attend regularly. She has been offered jobs that accommodate her lifestyle, as a bartender and waitress, but Angela would end up drinking on the job and would end up getting fired. The last man who fathered her last child offered to marry her and take on the responsibility of all of the children, but Angela was afraid that she would lose her welfare benefits if she married him, and refused. He married someone else and moved out of state.
Even though Angela has intelligence and beauty, she makes ridiculous choices that keep her in a less than favorable position in life. Her bad choices, patterns of irresponsibility, and inability to find a way out of her current lifestyle make Angela one of those people who will just never learn.