The Way Out of PovertyIn the article “The way out ofpoverty” the author provided a good thesis which is also a convincingdemonstration of dropping out of high school is the principal cause of poverty.
However, It is hard to quite agreewith the author in the first paragraph because she did not provide a clearinformation. She said, “poverty in America grew more than ever before inthe 51 years that the U.S government has tracked the poor.” and ” thetotal climbed by 3 million to 44 million.”The reader does not understandwhat this data represents.
To say that poverty is the reason for dropping outof school, so how many percents of people who drop out of school are poor inthis data.The author does not also state which agency provided this data.Therefore, the evidence that the author was given is not clear and make thereader confuse.In the second paragraph, the authorprovided three good recommends for avoiding poverty by graduating from highschool, marrying before having children, and getting a job.
It seems that theauthor’s proposals are very good for getting out of poverty. However, what thereader is interested in is how to educate teens to become aware of this.Providing solutions is always easier than guiding how to implement solutions.The author calls this the “golden rule,” but to be more precise,these are just gold ore because they are really worth it when it is beingexploited. Therefore, in this passage, instead of invoking the three solutionsto escape poverty for future generations, the author should delve into how togradually implement these solutions.In the thesisstatement, the author says that the way out of poverty is not to drop out ofhigh school, but in the third paragraph, the author mentions another solutionthat does not relate to the thesis statement she has raised.
in theintroduction to the essay. The author states that “Marriage: America’s No.1 Weapon Against Child Poverty.” So in the end, what is the solution tothe fight against poverty? Graduation from high school or marriage? What do youmean by giving the idea of marriage? Whygetting married is more important than graduation from high school for escapingthe poverty, and what specific evidence can demonstrate for this opinion.
Inaddition, the author goes so far as to cite government programs on combatingpoverty as “massives increase in welfare” make the poverty increase,but what is the purpose of this evidence? The reader feels very confused whenthe author tries to make irrelevant references.There aremany reasons for poverty, but the cause of the author is very convincing. Themain reasons of poverty are “lack of quality education and decent payingjobs”. People always pursue a good education while they can not afford theexpensive school fee.
And as a consequence, students who can not afford goodquality schools will not have the opportunity to find a good job. Although theyalways want to get out of the current situation, they can not do it. For thisreason, people with low economic conditions will not be better off because theydo not have a good education.The authorseems to forget what he was writing about when she spoke excessively aboutaspects of poverty. The author argues that “three of every four Americansdefines as poor” and “35 million of the 44 million total – are poorat economic booms,” Does this evidence related to the thesis statementthat the author introduced? Thus, this is a completely redundantparagraph, and it makes the essay morecluttered and confusing for the reader.
In the sixthparagraph, the author continued to provide some unrelated illustration, such aswriting about childbearing. After that, she brings the reader come back to themain point about poverty when mentioning about single-parent families are poorthan married couples six times. The way that author use to write in thisparagraph was illogical and no connective.When readingthe seventh paragraph, people will see that the author made her essay messywhen she tried to explain the important role of families in society, andprovided some unrelated illustration, such as ” Marriage is the waysocieties provide a map of life and norm about behavior”. What does shemean by this sentence? What does it mean to reduce poverty? Is that solution orphilosophical point of view? If it is a solution then it must explain why itworks.Moreover, she tries to add the quote “pattern of familynon-formation” of scholar Heather MacDonald to make her point of viewstronger, but it did not have value to focus on her thesis statement.