‘The Waiting Years’
Miya seemed to have gained unconditional love from Yukitomo, in my opinion. He loved the woman inside, not the weight on her body or the texture of her skin. To Yukitomo, Miya was beautiful both inside and out because of the affection that he held for her, in his heart.
Michimasa was not a man that Miya should have devoted any time to. He had no passion for anyone; only for his love of destruction which he shared with Miya while she drank alcohol and gave birth to many children, who were born into the destruction that their mother had brought upon them, as well as herself.
Miya had lost her youth in the bottle. She had taken the wrong road in life, and the wrong man who brought her nothing but continual despair. He had robbed her of all self respect and dignity, but Yukitomo was still there, ready to shower her with the compliments and assurance that a woman needs to be fulfilled.
Yukitomo was going to remind her that in their country of China, her attractiveness was measured in other ways. Ones that he was going to explain to her while he guided her back to the safety of his loving words, which she so desperately needed to hear.
I believe that Miya felt that she had gone too far into the realm of despair, but it’s clear that she had hope of a brighter future with Yukitomo who could teach her about eternal youth.