Trust is a basic building block for all types of relationships. There should be one constant from the relationship of a newborn baby with its mother, to the relationship of allied countries, and any other relationship in between. That one constant should be trust. Without trust it is extremely difficult for any relationship to be maintained. A relationship without trust is a relationship that is on a fast track to a certain conflict. What is trust?
From the Building Trust website, trust is defined as being “”the willingness of a party (trustor) to be vulnerable to the actions of another party (trustee) based on the expectation that the trustee will perform an action important to the trustor, regardless of the trustor’s ability to monitor or control the trustee. ”- (“Building Trust”) Trust is the reason why a baby stops crying when it is in its mothers embrace, because he knows she will tend to its needs. Trust is the reason a husband does not question his wife’s whereabouts, because he believes her faithfulness.
Trust is the reason a boss does not check behind the work of his employees, because he knows that they will do it to his standards. I believe that trust is faith. When I say that I am placing my faith in somebody, I trust them. Whenever I die, it is one thing that I want to be remembered for. That as a man, I maintained peoples trust in me. My word was my bond. When there is trust in any type of relationship, parties involved are able to let their guard down. Trust enables people to not worry about being harmed or ostracized for weakness. When a person truly trusts someone, it enables them to open up and be vulnerable.
A good explanation of the importance of trust to an organization was given by the website Articlesbase, “This level of organizational trust empowers your readers to focus on what they do best without having to worry about babysitting the people who work for them. This level of trust also builds an emotionally healthy atmosphere which makes it easier for your employees to deal graciously and comfortably with your customers. As you can imagine, this level of high trust can have a dramatic impact on both customer and employee loyalty and therefore increase the potential of your organization. – (McLaughlin, 2010) A relationship without trust has got some serious issues that will affect it adversely. Mistrust breeds contempt, suspicion, and jealousy. When a person cannot trust someone, it makes it hard to believe any word that they say. People will check behind the un-trusted person to see if they are being true. Wives will check their husband’s phone records, look into wallets for clues, and even hire private investigators to find infidelity. There is a popular TV show “Cheaters”, where the whole premise is to catch unfaithful spouses.
Personally, if I cannot trust someone, then I try to not associate with that person at all. Many other people hold my same view. “An organization without trust will be full of backstabbing, fear and paranoid suspicion. If you work for a boss who doesn’t trust her people to do things right, you’ll have a miserable time of it. She’ll be checking up on you all the time, correcting “mistakes” and “oversights” and constantly reminding you to do this or that. Colleagues who don’t trust one another will need to spend more time watching their backs than doing any useful work. The office politics would make Machiavelli blush. – (“The importance of Trust,” 2006) I could not explain the effects that mistrust have in an organization any better. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. A fifty percent clip that is a staggering number to say the least. You walk down the aisle in holy matrimony; there is a good chance that your vows will not last. It does not matter what these marriages end for, they all end because of some form of broken trust. When a couple gets married, they are supposed to be getting married till death. If you divorce somebody, then you believe that your spouse is incapable of something.
If you hold that belief, then you are failing to trust your spouse on some level. As a reader you might question why I am talking about marriage and divorce. The reason being is that the marriage is the basic building block to our society. What happens in the home is a microcosm of what happens in our society as a whole. So if trust is rampant in the home, then it is rampant in all parts of our society. Mistrust is so rampant in our society that it is big business and people are enamored by tales of broken trust. I have already mentioned the TV show “Cheaters”.
It is going into its eleventh season of giving the American public the food to quell its appetite for broken trust. There are numerous judge shows and other types of reality based shows that feed this appetite. In the writing of this paper, I was looking for empirical data on the cost of mistrust, but I could not find any proper sources. I know that the business of mistrust is a multi-billion dollar industry. The litigation cost alone is probably in the billions. The numbers could be astronomical if you throw in the private investigation industry, health-care cost due to mistrust, and lost productivity in business. Think of all the additional tasks that are caused directly by lack of trust. Audit departments only exist because of it. Companies keep voluminous records because they don’t trust their suppliers, their contractors and their customers. Probably more than half of all administrative work is only there because of a pervasive sense that “you can’t trust anyone these days. ” If even a small part of such valueless work could be removed, the savings would run into millions of dollars. ”- (“The importance of Trust,” 2006) There are numerous reasons of why people mistrust other people and why trust is broken.
First off, trust should never be given to anybody blindly. Trust is a value that is usually earned. I believe that biggest reason for mistrust is unfamiliarity. If I don’t know you, then I have no reason to trust you. I have no reason to base my trust on. Roy J. Lewiki and Edward C. Tomlinson explained in their article “Distrust” on Beyond Intractability. org of how distrust is formed from broken promises in a relationship. They further explained how the magnitude of the distrust is increased by repeated broken promises, if the violation was done intentionally, and also by violations that are more severe. (2003) Sometimes people are not trusted and it has nothing to do with any actions of theirs. The reason for the mistrust might be for some psychological reason on the person who refuses to grant the trust. I hear all too often of bosses who refuses to delegate to their underlings and women who scrutinize their current suitors for no apparent reason, but because they have issues. From the article “Building Trust”, on LiveStrong. com, the author gives a laundry list of why some people have a hard time of developing trust. All the reasons point back to one thing except one of them, that person’s past.
The article continues to explain how these people refuse to trust anyone due to fear and hurt feelings. – (2009) It sounds like a psychiatrist related issue. When there is no trust or trust has been broken, then how do you build trust? Before I even go off on this tangent, let me explain that some people are to just not to be trusted in certain situations. Never trust a thief with you money, a repeated cheater with you heart, and a fool with your business. Now with that out of the way, if unfamiliarity is the reason for most distrust, then becoming familiar with a person will ultimately breed trust.
I am a new employee for my company. I have been working for them since before May on a relief basis. I had been working just enough to just learn my position. Within the last month I had been asked to fill-in for a full-time employee who took ill and will be off until April. Within that short time, I have built trust with my immediate supervisors to the point where they are familiar with my work ethic and confident that I can get the job done. In the book “Resolving Conflict at Work”, the author explained how poor communication has affected relationships.
It gave an example of how poor communication led to mistrust of management in an organization that they worked with. The authors opened up the channels of communication and where able to repair managements relationship with its associates. “By the next quarter, productivity had increased significantly, and morale began to return. One year afterwards, nearly everyone indicated they were happier to be working there. ”-Cloke and Goodman (2005, p. 40) Just by improving the communication within that organization drastic improvements occurred.
Communication is very important to building trust in all type of relationships. “If you listen well people will trust you. You cannot establish trust if you cannot listen. A conversation is a relationship. ”- (“Building Trust”) Proper communication is paramount to a trusting relationship. Outside of trust, the article “The Benefits of Communication Skills” list happiness, more attractive, better intimacy, increased love, it helps to increase the feeling of relaxation, and numerous other attributes are listed that are traced back to good communication skills-. 2006) The book “Resolving Conflicts At Work” describes good listening as being active, empathetic, and responsive. “the best listening is highly active and interactive and requires energy, openness, awareness, and an application of initiative and curiosity on the part of the listener. ”-Cloke and Goodman (2005, p. 44) I cannot really explain the skills that are needed for good communication any better than that. Any explanation from me would be just a variation of the above quote. Another aspect of trust that is a must is honesty.
All parties in a relationship have got to be truthful. A person has got to know that they can believe in you handshake and in your word. The breaking of a verbal agreement with a handshake is grounds to be sued. As a man, nothing is more valued then a person that is true to their word. Be about what you talk about. Trusting relationship are healthy relationships. People that are involved in trusting relationships are usually physically healthy as a result, because the stress in their life is cut back as a result of them.
There is no need of worrying about the truth fullness of someone, which leads people’s mental capacity to being more loving, caring, and attentive. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a married couple that have been together for decades and they have continuously built their trust over the years. There is no worrying about if their spouse is going to be unfaithful, if their spouse is going to mess up their finances, or if they spouse is just going to suddenly leave. That trust is strong, so the relationship is strong. Trust is just as beneficial to organizations. Once the trust is established, it can bring many benefits including huge profits with minimum cost, improvement in the reputation of a firm, and enhancement in the quality of relationships. Associate retention, effective communication, and motivation can also be gained through trust in relationships. ”- (Pinkerton) When employees have trust in the work place, they are able to concentrate on their particular jobs. The boss does not worry if the job is getting done, associates do not have to worry about doing other peoples duties, and the fear of backstabbing is removed.
McLaughlin, D. (07DEC2010). How Much is Low Trust Costing Your Organization. Retrieved from http://www. articlesbase. com/leadership-articles/how-much-is- low-trust-costing-your-organization-3802940. html Building Trust. (n. d. ). Retrieved from http://www. 1000ventures. com/business_guide/crosscuttings/relationships_trust .ht ml The importance of Trust. (24APR2006. ). Retrieved from http://www. lifehack. org/articles/lifehack/the-importance-of-trust. html Lewicki, R. ; Tomlinson, E. C. (DEC2003). Distrust. Retrieved from http://www. eyondintractability. org/essay/distrust/ Building Trust. (18NOV2009). Retrieved from http://www. livestrong. com/article/14652- building-trust/ Cloke, K. ; Goldsmith, J. (2005). Resolving conflicts at work. (Rev. ed. ). San Francisco, CA: A Wiley Imprint. The benefits of communication skills. (29NOV2006). Retrieved from http://www. earthlingcommunication. com/blog/the-benefits-of-communication- skills. php Pinkerton, K. (n. d. ). Trust in Relationships. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles. com/? Trust-in-Relationships;id=354371